My belief in God began when I was very young. During that time, I was reared in two different worlds. I didn’t understand it until I was much older, when these two worlds began to collide. And for the longest time, I was very confused.

           

When I was but a toddler I was tormented by a spirit of fear. It’s strange how the brain can remember things that happened, even as far back as three years of age. What I experienced was confirmed by my parents. As much as I loved my father he was the cause of many of my unfortunate spiritual experiences. He was a womanizer, promising women that he would divorce my mother and marry them. He played with fire, and never had any intension of divorcing my mother. This made a lot of women very angry. Back in the day as we use to say, they didn’t slash your tires or brake your windows. They went to a darker place; they went to the local Espiritista to place a curse on their enemy. My father became the subject of their wrath, along with his family.

           

So as I watched what I believed to be demons coming out of the closet, and endured numerous trips to the doctor’s office, who never found anything wrong with me. There was only one other place to visit. An Espiritista, who could channel the spirit that was attacking us, and release the “curse,” sending the evil spirit back to where it belonged, scary isn’t it. I remember the night terrors, and sleeping between my parents. Sometimes they would have to leave our tiny apartment just to calm me down. This wasn’t the first time my father’s indiscretions sent my mother and I to visit an Espiritista.

 That was the beginning of my spiritual life. Then came Catholicism, boy did that screw up my head. I watched people that I knew, go to mass in the morning, kneeling before the cross, and partaking of the Holy Sacrament. I’m sure those same people left out the part about adultery, and casting spells when they went to confession. I had many questions even at the young age of twelve, when I took my first Holy Communion. The lessons were so confusing that I began to doubt who God really is.

 

During my life, I have studied many different religions, read the Bible three or four times cover to cover, trying to connect to some kind of truth that relates to who I am. I have witnessed strange unexplainable spiritual events. Events that have made me come to but one conclusion, and that is, I have personally experienced the force of the Holy Spirit in my time of need. A force that is so profound it keeps you in a state of stillness, unable to move, encapsulated in an overwhelming sense of peace that fills your soul.

I began to realize that God is more powerful than we could ever imagine. Those few seconds were so remarkable, that I find it hard to describe with mere words. I’m sure it’s hard for others to believe, if you have never experienced it.

           

So I can clearly say that my faith, my spiritual walk, is very personal. I’ve learned to hear that sweet voice that makes sense to me. My spirit and soul are connected to God, and all of his wonders. This is what allows me to think of God outside of the “box” so to speak, and not confine him to our normal reality. I write what I feel, and believe deep inside. I believe that there is good in all of us, no matter which religion or faith a person chooses. I chose the trinity simply because I think that it is the root of what makes me who I am. A child, a sister and wife, a mother, and a comforter.